100 members of the Washington DC community courageously came together to express how breast cancer has touched their lives. This photo exhibition was held for one night only on April 19, 2011 at the Atlas Performing Arts Center. This exhibit raised over $3600 for Capital Breast Care Center.

View more photos here.

it's funny how one thing leads to another. but as you can see, "shoot for change" is much more than just about one person or one organization. in some ways, it has become a kaleidoscope of ideas and possibilities and more and more people are executing on those ideas and possibilities. and that is pretty cool.

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january 2010 started out with officially moving to dc and a letter from the mercedes-benz fashion week new york. this led me to shooting dc fashion week and pink jams. that drove me to shoot all the fashion related charity events including fashion for paws, tigerlily, and couture for a cure. next thing i know, i'm invited by angela steever and jennifer harlow to a don patron mother's day portrait show at the peacock cafe to find out if i would do my first photo exhibit in washington dc there. done and done. ironically enough, you could hear pink martini playing in the background.

during the summer, i did an event with merissa benitez and anastasia lambrou at the puro cafe in georgetown. this event benefited women empowered against violence. it was a small event, but it would somehow lead to meeting several cool new people including lais lacher, april watts, michael gomez, and later on, jazz singer sheena alexis who will be singing at future sfc events. in addition, kemy greene is hosting an event at boconcept georgetown in march 2011 that's also benefiting women empowered against violence. and of course i have to write that my connection with boconcept only happened because jennifer harlow was taking a real estate class and decided to sit next to the cool looking girl, tia mamada, who happened to be working at boconcept at the time.

shortly thereafter, micky farivar recommends me as a photographer to a few peacock cafe regulars including photographing a surprise birthday party and an author who just finished writing her mother's unfinished book. lynda plott needed headshots before she toured her book and at the time of our shoot, she didn't know where to donate the money. two weeks later, she emails me and says she's donating the money to capital breast care center during a special breakfast fundraiser. she didn't mention where the breakfast was going to be, but for some strange coincidence, i was at the same hotel that same morning with my parents as i was dropping them off at their megabus trip to new york. later that night, i found out that most of the folks i know were also at that breakfast.

angela steever came up with a great idea called SFC Family Day where we take family portraits for $200. several families signed up quickly and before we knew it, we had to turn people away. this led to jennifer harlow organizing another SFC Family Day that would benefit an organization she just learned about called capital breast care center. she was also at that same breakfast. as we were planning the 2nd SFC Family Day, i suggested that we have an indoor location just in case the weather didn't turn out right. i threw out the kreeger museum and next thing i know, jennifer harlow calls me back and says they're interested and next thing i know, we're touring the museum. we didn't actually work with the kreeger museum, but they kept SFC on their radar and eventually invited SFC to be a partner in a fundraising event for their alzheimer's program called "conversations".

after the 2nd SFC Family Day, jennifer harlow suggested that we hand deliver the checks to the capital breast care center office. i agreed and we meet susannah fox at the cbcc office. as we were walking around the office, i saw some of the best artworks and paintings i've seen, which led me to asking her where they got them. in short, she told me that they were done by seniors living at the lisner-louise-dickson-hurt home in chevy chase. i was so inspired that at THAT VERY MOMENT, i said i wanted to do photo portraits. i emailed the info email address i found on the website and two days later, i'm sitting in front of the CEO and executive director of the lisner-louise-dickson-hurt home pitching to them my idea. they were so floored that we're having a big photo and art exhibition in may 2011 at the home.

at the same exact time that the above paragraph was happening, a photo exhibit project with pink jams was brewing that would benefit, once again, capital breast care center. this photo exhibit is large (requires 100 feet of total display), expensive (i asked people for money and eventually used shoot for change as a major vehicle to raise funds), and mind numbingly exciting (i couldn't even look or edit more than 3 photos at a time because of the emotion in the photos). this exhibit is on april 19th at the atlas performing arts center. and because of the generosity of so many people, capital breast care center does not incur any of the costs. and because of this photo exhibit, i just photographed linda mathes, the CEO of american red cross for the national capital region. this photoshoot would then lead to...

I first want to say thank you to Elaine Mensah and SVELTE, LLC for giving me this once in a lifetime opportunity of photographing the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York. Without doubt, this has been the most exciting photography experience I’ve ever had since I picked up a camera in 2006. Thank you Elaine!!

–

When I first arrived at my first Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week New York event, I stood next to a photographer and said, “I can’t believe I finally made it to the Super Bowl of fashion events.” Of course the actual Super Bowl just happened a few days before so the comparison was obvious. But what I didn’t expect was his response, “Oh no, this isn’t the Super Bowl of fashion events. This is just the playoffs.”

WHAT?

Now I think he was referring to some of the events in Europe, which if you were to compare it to that, then I can see the analogy working. But at the same time, there are not a lot of fashion events in the US that attract photographers and media from around the world. In my short time there, I met photographers and videographers from Italy, Austria, Australia, Germany, Switzerland, Korea, Japan, and China. And those were just the ones that I know about. If you have that kind of international media personnel covering an event, I think it’s safe to say that it is the Super Bowl of fashion events and not just the playoffs.

Now before I start talking about designers and their collection, I have to first admit that these names did not mean anything to me whatsoever. Christian Siriano, Carolina Herrera, Diane von Furstenberg, Monique Lhuillier? I mean, I can’t even say their names let alone tell you who they are. I’m really glad that Elaine was there to help straighten me out because I really didn’t know any better. To me, I was in the Super Bowl!! Who cares who’s playing? Where are the models?

As a first time photographer at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York, I was glad that I had some previous fashion runway experience. I know the magnitude doesn’t even compare, but it helped me tremendously in terms of anticipating the models walking down the runway, knowing when it might be good to take a photo (as opposed to just holding down the shutter), and also perhaps that there might be better spots than others.

However, what I did not totally anticipate was ALL THE WAITING involved. If you want a decent spot on the media risers, then you need to come early. If you don’t come early, then you’re pretty much at the back of the line and you might not even get inside to see the show. Within the next 15 minutes, you’ll start seeing other photographers line up. The problem is that there’s a show every hour so if you want to go to the “big name” shows, then you might as well forget the other ones and just camp out. Once they actually let you in, then you still have to wait another 45 minutes before the show actually starts. It takes a while to get 200 media people and an additional 800+ people seated for a show.

As a photographer, you are constantly looking to find ways to get a good shot. But when you’re in the media risers at a fashion show, you’re pretty much stuck to where you are. There’s no moving around at all. In fact, once the show starts, you can’t even move your feet. There are people literally sitting on your foot and leaning on your leg. It is like being in the Metro during rush hour or like being in a mosh pit. If you can imagine that, then continue to imagine that you’re holding on to your backpack, camera equipment, and all the other things that you need to carry with you. You’re holding on to your 70-200mm lens that’s about as long as a forearm so now you can see how complicated this can get when you have 250 other people trying to get a good shot.

It is absolute chaos. But once the lights dim and the music starts, then magic happens. All the anticipation and all the waiting and all the pushing and shoving comes to a halt and as you see the first model walk out and the lights brighten up again, then you realize you’re not photographing just any fashion show. You are in the crème de la crème of fashion shows. You’re in the Super Bowl.

Ten minutes later, it’s over.

Yes, it’s about 90 minutes of waiting for a ten minute show. And then you do it again. By the 4th day and the 15th show, I was quite simply – exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do or see again was another model walking down the runway. But at the same time, I didn’t want to lose touch of where I was and what I was doing. It’s not every day that you get to see a preview of the Fall 2011 Christian Siriano collection. And it’s definitely not everyday that you see Diane von Furstenberg walk around the runway after her show. But after all those shows and all those photographs, I was simply tired.

On my last day, I only had two shows to cover. The first one was Carolina Herrera’s and even though I wasn’t really familiar with her, I knew that she was a very important designer and that many people wanted to shoot her event. So I stayed in line as I described above and was fortunate to be one of the first ones to be in the media risers. In previous shows, I normally shot from the left side, but somehow for this show, I thought I’d mix it up a bit and shoot from the right side. Perhaps it was divine intervention as I attended the youth service at St. Paul’s church after watching Diane von Furstenberg’s collection the day before. =) I picked my spot and started chatting with the video guy next to me. It turned out he was covering for CNN, which is always a good sign. He then pointed out that Anna Wintour was at the show and that she would be sitting in the front row. As he pointed in her direction, I saw her. For those of you who might not know, Anna Wintour is the Editor-in-Chief of Vogue magazine. My ultimate dream shot for fashion week was to have Anna Wintour watching the models walking by. And I got the shot. I couldn’t believe it. After that show, I didn’t feel like I was watching the Super Bowl of fashion events. I felt like I had won it.

You can view the photos here:
http://shootforchange.smugmug.com/MBFW/mbfwnyfall2011

Prior to this year, I had never seen any version of The Nutcracker. In December 2010, I was at the show 21 times and saw The Washington Ballet perform more than half of that. Basically, I donated my time to operate their photobooth, where people paid $10 for one photo. It was a pretty assignment as I'd walk over to the Warner Theater every night in December after work and then hangout and photograph customers for 10 to 15 minutes. The problem though was that we had to print the photos so that they could walk away with their photograph. The printer, needless to say, was like that printer on Office Space.

But, the photobooth did raise over $7,000 for The Washington Ballet and I got to see the show 21 times. Septime Webre's production is pretty amazing.

The Washingtonian magazine chose "The Panda on the Metro" as one of their favorite photos.  They liked it so much that they also printed it out on their December issue.  I ended up buying thirteen copies.

The Shoot for Change + BoConcept events at Tysons Galleria and Georgetown generated over $2000, which went directly to SOS Children's Villages and Courage for Kids.

Congratulations to the BoConcept team for hosting a fabulous event. In addition, I want to thank Kenyetta Greene Makeup Artist and the Ted Gibson & Hela Spa team for their support in making the photo shoot experience that much more memorable. Each one of them took several hours out of their extremely busy schedule to volunteer their time, creativity, and energy to help raise money for two children charities.

TED GIBSON SALON & HELA SPA
Neven Radovic
Ulysses Powell
Ian Mccabe
Isabel Azocar
Jessica Dunaway
Consuella Lopez

KENYETTA GREENE MAKEUP ARTIST
www.kenyettagreene.com
Kemy Greene

Personally, I would like to thank my family for flying out from Dallas and Seattle and also my friends, Jen, Angie, Tia, Anastasia, Merissa, and Rebecca for their help and support. =)

VIDEO FOOTAGE: http://vimeo.com/15698903

Looks like I'll be having a photo exhibit in DC around June and maybe a second one sometime after that! So crazy. Basically, there are two ladies who really like my work and tonight was the first time I met them in person.I shot their photos at a Pink Jams fashion event in February and they really liked the photos I took of them. One lady, Jennifer, is a breast cancer survivor and she told me that the photo I took of her during that fashion event was just her absolute favorite. She said that she never would have imagined having that kind of picture when she was going through her cancer and it sorta hit her when she saw the photo. One photo I took of her caught her really laughing as she's walking down the runway.The other lady, Angela, is also a big fan of my photos. When I met both of them tonight for the first time at an art exhibit, Angela was telling me all her favorite pictures - and it was so funny because some of them dated back from the beginning - like the "I Miss You" or even a shot of Paris or Budapest that I barely remember.So both of them want to organize and host an event for me. =) They already have the venue, talked to the owners, and now it's just a matter of picking a date.I actually had never met two people who were that excited about my work (maybe Jill or MJ). They kept on and on and telling everyone about my work - even introducing me to the artist who had the show tonight. It was kinda overwhelming. And it was definitely exciting.

Last weekend, I was involved in a fashion photoshoot for a nonprofit organization called "Fashion Fights Poverty". And today, I just saw the electronic version of the magazine they publish to help raise money for their programs.

I still cannot believe it! This has multiple layers of goodness for me in that, first, I was involved in a shoot that was designed to be in a magazine. And secondly, it was for an official nonprofit organization that leverages fashion. Knowing all of this and working with the team involved during the shoot, I was actually very nervous. It got to a point where I couldn't even figure out how to do a simple thing like change lenses! Luckily for me, the creative director and founder of Fashion Fights Poverty was very reassuring and made sure I knew that he liked how the photos were turning out.

Anyway, just wanted to share that with you. You can see the electronic version by visiting the link below this email. I also pointed out the pages of where I saw my work and/or name (I never thought I would be this giddy about this stuff).

And you can buy one for $20 and help raise money for the programs that Fashion Fights Poverty support. Considering that this is mine (and Shoot for Change's) first published work, it might be worth more when you try to sell it on ebay later. Just a thought. =)

Great times.

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Pages 4-5
The photo in the middle in between the Editor's and President's letter! I also took the photo of the founder, Michael Dumlao (small picture on page 5).

Page 7
There's a little info about Shoot for Change and of "Walter Grio" with a small black/white picture.

Pages 28 - 33
These photos were taken in Michael's basement - ridiculous. It even had this old school bicycle! My favorite picture is the one with the bike. The first draft of the layout had this as a small photo, but I'm so happy they turned it into a full page layout and the cover for the section.

Page 41
Credits page for the "Mix and Match" photoshoot and more text about Shoot for Change.

Cover Page (icing on the cake)
Credit says "Fashion spreads by Jodi King and Walter Grio" To even be in the same sentence with Jodi King is just crazy. As you can see in the photos she took, she is just on a whole different level.

Link to the magazine:
http://magcloud.com/browse/Issue/78981

Link to Fashion Fights Poverty:
http://www.fashionfightspoverty.org

Here are some photos from the "Fashion for Paws" event that took place at the Embassy of Italy last night. It was a pretty fun event with TONS of people. I think there were some VIPs there but the only one I recognized was Clinton Portis. haha.

This event benefited the Washington Humane Society and basically the "models" each raised a certain amount of money to get to walk the runway. I was slightly disappointed that not all the dogs on the runway came from the shelter, but I guess the bottom line is that they were able to raise over $300k.

Here is the link to the photos:
http://modelforchange.com/section/160931_Fashion_for_Paws.html

one night, i woke up and thought about masks. i wanted models wearing a mask. the next morning, i went to eastern market and bought a zebra mask. i had already shot with a lamb mask and now i had this dream of shooting a model wearing a zebra mask and a white dress. dream come true.

In a span of one week, I went from having zero experience in shooting fashion runway shows to now being somewhat of an expert. I learned a lot which included sometimes having to beat down other people from the press so that they wouldn't take my spot. I also learned to show up AT LEAST an hour early if you want to have a decent chance of having a good spot. And as the show starts, you still have to muscle your way as the photographers and the audience act like they're about to board a Southwest Airlines flight. At one point before the show, I even put my bag in front of me to serve as a "barrier" between me and other people. I thought it was an awesome idea until someone decided to sit on it. Lesson learned.

Total Roadtrip Miles by Car: 8,400 miles (13,500 km)

Countries 2009

1. Austria

2. Belgium

3. Czech Republic

4. Denmark (first time)

5. France

6. Germany

7. Hungary (first time)

8. Italy

9. Liechtenstein (first time)

10. Luxembourg (first time)

11. Monaco (first time)

12. Netherlands (first time)

13. Poland (first time)

14. Romania (first time)

15. Slovakia (first time)

16. Switzerland

17. United Kingdom

18. United States

Cities, Places, and Activities 2009

1. Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial Site

2. Porsche Museum

3. Germanisches Nationalmuseum

4. BMW World and Museum

5. Heidelberg Castle

6. Budapest, Hungary

7. Vienna, Austria

8. Colmar, France

9. Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Germany

10. Dresden, Germany

11. Prague, Czech Republic

12. Milan, Italy

13. Zurich, Switzerland

14. Westfalenpark, Dortmund, Germany

15. Maastricht, Netherlands

16. London, UK

17. Photoshoot with modeling agency in Iaşi, Romania

18. Paris, France

19. Paris to London roundtrip on Eurostar train

20. Photoshoot with Vogue fashion editor in London

21. Munich, Germany

22. Photoshoot at the Arabella Sheraton Nürnberg

23. Gambling with old French and Italian dudes in Monaco

24. Moving to Arlington, Virginia

What started out to be a "see as much as you can before they pull you out of this project next week" has turned into a Wally World European Tour. At first, I started with the 9 countries in 3 days adventure mainly because I really didn't know how long I was going to be here and...How long does a window of opportunity remain open?

There is no recession in Monaco. I have never seen so many expensive toys jammed in one square meter as I did in Monte Carlo. It was like a haven for Ferraris, Bentleys, Rolls Royce, you name it, they had it. And they had lots of it. There's the famous Casino de Monte Carlo and right next to it is the Hotel de Paris. Those two places are in a square and at night, it turns into a red carpet event. I don't know what was happening but there were tons of people/tourists waiting for a sight of somebody famous. On Friday night, there were security personnel dressed in normal clothing. You could tell by the earpieces they were wearing. The cars rolled in, one by one, and eventually you couldn't even appreciate a Ferrari driving by you because there were so many of them. Even 60 year old grandmas were driving them.

It was so surreal that I can't even compare it to Las Vegas. Weird, but it's the first city that I can think of because of the extravagance. But the one major thing that separates Monaco and Vegas is CLASS. It was elegant and classy. In another town, what I would have seen would have been pretentious, but somehow in Monte Carlo, it was impressive.

In the evening, you saw people dressed up like you'd see in the movies IN THE 1940s. I was waiting for Audrey Hepburn to appear. It almost had a film-noir feel to the whole thing. I don't know if it's the french architecture mixed with the italian vibrancy mixed with the sounds of the mediterranean on top of a mountainous cliff. Maybe it's all of it. At one point, I expected James Bond to pull up, which would have been fine since the original Casino Royale was actually filmed there.

There's rich and then there's Monaco rich. And then there's fashion and then there's style. Of course anyone who's "rich" can afford anything they want and perhaps the first thing they get is a Ferrari. But if you can get ANYTHING, why get one of those? Where's the style in that? When everyone else is driving one, then where's the fun? On that level, a Ferrari becomes a Honda Accord. Everyone is driving one. Right? There's no style in that. If it was me, I would have gone with KITT from Knight Rider. Or better yet, if you really want a Ferrari, then go with Magnum PI's. You know? So many choices when you have money, but you have to do it right.

When I walked into the Casino de Monte Carlo, it felt like I walked into the movie "Eyes Wide Shut". Just look at the pictures below and you'll know why. I didn't take these as cameras were not allowed even in the lobby. But after a few minutes in there, I thought for sure it was a special club of some sort. You had to wear a jacket just to gamble. And as strange as it was, I really wish Vegas was like that. There's just no class anymore and even when there is, it's sorta gotten all pretentious as opposed to just elegant. Am I talking stupid here? It's just like back in the day, people took more time to look nice and to look proper. Now I'm not saying that it should be like that all the time, but somehow we've now completely gone on the opposite end.

What happened to style? And no, you don't have to pay hundreds of dollars to have style. It's just that people don't really care anymore.

Anyway, after a few minutes at the Casino de Monte Carlo, I decided to go to the Sun Casino instead to play some craps. It's my game and I can guarantee you that I can get you $100 every single time. The key to it is walking away when you have it. And that's what's hard. That's what's almost impossible. I actually won $500 that night gambling with some old Italian and French dudes. It was so surreal because I didn't understand what they were saying. For all I know, they were totally insulting me, but when I started rolling points, nobody cared. And that's what's great about craps. Although one time, I rolled a 7 and this old Italian dude starts showing me how I'm supposed to roll. It was classic.

I'll never forget Monaco. I think it's singlehandedly one of the best places in the world. It has everything you need and everything you can't afford. At the same time, there's something for everyone. You can hang out by the beach, go shopping, gambling, sailing, or just simply walk around and enjoy the scenery. With the Mediterranean Sea in front of you and mountains from France and Italy around you, what more do you really need?

Except maybe a Ferrari.

Forgiving does not mean to forget.
Forgiving does not mean to excuse.
Forgiving does not mean to demand.
Forgiving does not mean to deny.
Forgiving does not mean to destroy.
Forgiving means to forgive.

Many reasons exist that can justify our want for eradicating someone from our lives. For the most part, we simply don’t have the energy or the emotional capacity to deal with those people. So in order to move forward, we choose to remove them from our lives so that we never have to deal with them again. There is a sense of pride and maybe some relief, but those are simply masked entities that are typically worn by anger and regret.

Forgiveness is powerful and therapeutic. Forgiveness empowers you and frees you from negative thoughts. Forgiveness allows you to accept the person as a whole. You accept their faults just as you would accept the thorns of a rose. This does not imply that you will allow yourself to continually get hurt. It simply means that you acknowledge that they are capable of hurting you, so you make adjustments in the way that you treat them.

Forgiveness is not easy nor is it logical. It is irrational. It is insane. But once you have a full understanding of forgiveness, you will realize that by not doing this, you are merely depriving yourself of a burden free life.

When I started to think about forgiveness, I started asking many questions. After thinking and speaking with others, the most difficult question for me was, “How can you forgive if you can’t forget?” I always had a hard time with this concept because one can never truly forget. If you could, then it would be a moot point. If you could erase the memory of the particular event, then it would appear as if it never happened. Then it means that you didn’t forgive. It simply means that you forgot.

So it’s critical to think that forgiving does not equate to forgetting. They are completely different actions and even though you may achieve a similar end result of not being hurt, it’s completely false to think that they are one in the same.

Forgiveness does not excuse the improper action towards you. It simply means that you are willing to move forward with the relationship with the intent that the improper action will no longer happen. If it continues to happen, then the problem lies not in forgiveness, but rather in lack of trust. It's also critical to understand that forgiveness does not mean renewed trust.

Trust is an illusion. It is intangible. It doesn’t exist. It is not empirical. It exists only in your mind. It can be as big as you want it to be. Or it could be as small. It’s really your choice. Trust built on solid rock over a period of several years can be easily shattered by a falling leaf in one instant. It can be blown away by a whisper.

Trust is the fake lubricant in every human interaction. Trust is the magical grease, the mythical oil that allows you to glide through a relationship. When the illusion of trust is removed, what you experience is friction. And when friction strikes, it propagates anger and resentment. So you halt everything. You pull the emergency brakes. You stop moving forward. You break the relationship. And it’s because trust has been broken and the grease has dried up. So you move forward by applying more grease until the illusion of trust is reborn. Or you may simply choose to walk away.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is not an illusion. Forgiveness is not blind faith. Forgiveness is not a deaf emotion. Forgiveness is clairvoyance.

When you allow yourself to see the individual as a whole, you are able to make rational decisions on how to deal with them. You realize that they are incapable of a particular task. When you give someone a fragile piece, and they continually break it into a thousand pieces, it’s obvious that they are incapable of keeping that piece intact. This will hurt you.

What forgiveness allows you to do is give them a different piece. You make adjustments in what you give them. If they keep breaking your china, give them paper plates, but you don’t stop feeding them. If you are constantly disappointed by a particular person, then what you do is put yourself in a situation where you will not be disappointed. If you are constantly rejected by an individual because they don’t accept you or your interests or anything that is important to you, then you stop providing them an opportunity to reject you. It doesn’t mean that you take them off your list. It simply means that you make adjustments in the way you deal with them.

The thorns are their abilities to disappoint and reject, so in order for you to stop getting hurt, you stop poking at the thorns. Stay away from the thorns. Move forward with the understanding that their thorns are capable of hurting you.

When you continue the relationship, it is still a frictionless state because you’re staying away from their thorns. You don’t need the illusion of trust or grease. You forgive them for their mistakes or for their inability to perform a particular task. You have no animosity or resentment.

Forgiveness allows you to make adjustments. Forgiveness bends and never breaks.

Forgiveness does not mean to demand. If you truly forgive someone, it does not mean that you force the individual to live by your own rules. Just because it’s right for you, doesn’t mean that it’s right. Take a vampire for instance. They need your blood to continue to live, but it doesn’t mean that it’s right for them to take a bite and suck the life out of you. If you force an individual to give you what you need, and they don’t want to or they can’t, then you are simply sucking the life out of your relationship. If this continues, then you have to make adjustments. You have to accept that the specific person cannot provide you what you need. And you have to move on and find a different source for whatever void you are trying to fill. It still doesn’t mean that you have kicked them out of your life. It simply means that they serve a different purpose.

Forgiveness does not mean to deny. You may choose to spend less time with the individual because their actions contradict your set of rules or your way of life. But it does not mean that you deny them the freedom or their free will to live the way that they want to live. It does not mean to deny them a choice. It does not mean you give them an ultimatum. Once you deny an individual a choice, it means that you are willing to sever your connection with that individual. You give them no alternatives other than to conform to your wants, and instead of forgiving them and letting them be themselves, you mold them to follow your rules. They become a flock of sheep or sock puppets as opposed to a group of friends.

Forgiveness does not mean to destroy. To forgive means to heal or to repair. This may be the toughest and most difficult thing to understand. If you truly forgive someone, it means that you are willing and are accepting of the person as a whole. And if you choose to detach yourself from the person completely, it means that you have not achieved forgiveness. You are removing their existence from your life to help you forget their wrongdoings and the hurt that came with them. It’s one thing to put someone on probation, but it’s another thing to put them on death row.

Forgiveness requires humility, understanding, and compassion. If you can forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made, then you have to be able to forgive those who make mistakes. Not doing so would be hypocritical. The first step before you judge anyone is to first judge yourself. How you live your life should dictate how you treat others. Forgiveness allows you to move forward without regret. Forgiveness allows you to be emotionally and mentally clairvoyant. Forgiveness allows you to keep the doors to your heart unlocked.

The most difficult task is the process of detachment. In most cases, during a breakup, you will go through some process or some check list before you can consider yourself completely over the situation. This could take weeks, months, or years. It's difficult. This is forgiveness at the cost of falling out of love.

In order to forgive someone you're in love with, you must first detach yourself from them (emotionally, mentally, etc). In order to forgive them, you must be able to eradicate all types of emotions that you have for them, which includes positive and negative emotions. Forgiveness can only begin once you have removed your emotional investment to a person. If you still hold any feelings for someone you have lost, then you have not completely forgiven them. So in order to forgive them, you must first detach yourself. It's forgiveness at the cost of falling out of love.

Are there different levels of forgiveness? Some wrongs make it harder to forgive and thus requires more time and effort for forgiveness to come about, but isn't the ultimate goal the same in all cases? And if so then if you allow someone to remain in your life for one type of wrong, why not another? There are practical reasons for keeping someone out of your life. One could be physical or constant verbal abuse. If you have someone who abuses you, then there is no choice other than to stay away from them. You may still forgive them though.

Another example could be in death. In this case, you have two choices. One is to forgive them for leaving you and to help ease the pain that the loss has created. Or you could hang on to the animosity and the regret. Again, the choice is up to you.

I think that there are different levels of effort when trying to achieve forgiveness. Some things take longer than others. But I think that if you constantly strive to forgive everything, then you are practicing and working towards a much truer catharsis.

Forgiveness could be compared to running a marathon or even riding a bike in long distances. If you've never done it before, then it's extremely difficult even to walk around the block. But if you practice and take small steps, eventually running 5 miles or 10 miles or 26.2 miles will be nothing. The more you do it and the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

However, it's not as if you can suddenly turn on a switch and say "I forgive you." It's a process and each person and situation have a different timetable. For most of us, the easiest way to clear our minds is to purge the person from our life. It makes it more convenient to move forward without any emotional attachment when they're out of sight. But at the same time, what you're achieving is not forgiveness. What you are doing is trying to forget.

It's critical to understand that they are not one in the same. The most arduous task of forgiving is when it relates to death. When someone dies, the grieving process takes over. There are no set tasks or predetermined course of action that works for everyone. But if there’s one thing that is common throughout the healing process is that in the end, you must eventually forgive the individual. Sometimes we feel as though they left us no choice. This plays most when an individual chooses to take their life. We blame them for leaving us. We resent them for what they did. We feel disappointed by their action. In death, you have two choices. You can hold on to the anger or you can let forgiveness dissolve your pain.

Forgiveness is difficult and time consuming. It doesn’t happen quickly. Emotions come into play and it clouds all faculties, but just like anything else, time allows you to let emotions settle down. When it does, your options are clearer. And when you allow yourself to forgive others or yourself, you will realize that what you’re doing is eradicating hatred, sorrow, and regret. This makes it easier to turn the page.

Forgiveness is a spaceship. Once you hop on, you’ll go where you’ve never gone before. You may choose to never eat his panbread again because it tastes like dirt, but you may forgive him and eat peaches instead.

Forgive us for our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Forgive the vampires for they know not what they do. They are just vampires. This is a picture of my spaceship.